The Problem With Women aka My Fight with Rita

The Problem with Women aka My Fight with Rita
by Fantasy Tales Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved.

You know, we live in a city with all kinds. I guess having come from a dysfunctional family I have always been quick to forgive others shortcomings. To a point though, for after my toes have been stepped on a few times it doesn't just hurt it becomes something to scream about. And, I have to stop myself, but not my mouth, from picking up my heal and smashing it into the offender's shoes even deeper and harder than they have harmed me. Enough is enough.

Here's the background - months ago I made a date with a neurosurgeon. We were to meet around 4:30 at a nearby but nice, trendy neighborhood spot. Earlier in the day I was out alone when Rita called. "What are you doing?", she always needs to know. "Nothing much, window shopping before my date", I answer. "I'll meet you. Where are you?" No biggy at least not yet. We meet up on Madison Avenue and make our way up to the restaurant. It's about half an hour before my date. I call my date and leave a message on his cell explaining that I have finished early and am hanging at the place with a girlfriend. Still no biggy - so one would think.

At close to 4:30 my date arrives but since Rita doesn't switch seats, she is sitting across from me, my date is forced to sit next to me in such a way we can barely see each other without straining our necks. Rita states innocently she will leave after she finishes her drink. Again, who would think twice about that. But here's where the story really gets started.

For some reason Rita must be in one of her moods. If my date says, "black" she says "white" and I can see my date becoming miffed. I kick Rita under the table. She makes a face at me, as if to say, "What gives with this guy?" and continues to nurture her drink, something she has never otherwise done. And the arguments continue. My date and she are basically going at it. I am non-existent and somewhat in disbelief. Half a glass more to go before she'll leave. I kick her again. She cries out "Ouch" to make sure my date becomes aware I have kicked her. Then she resumes her argument. Still no one is speaking to me.

It's more than an hour before Rita has had enough. She is insulted by my date's remarks and stands to depart but with sense enough to ask my date if she should pay for her drink. You had to see this! She actually got up and let out a broad smile as if to say, "Aren't I cute?" I could have puked. Pay for her drink - how about a shrink! My date is way too polite and tells her he does not mind to pay for her. I am stunned, impressed, and pleased. Finally bye bye Rita, but the peace last only long enough to take in just one breath of fresh air.

Suddenly, my date jumps up from the table stating, "a meter maid, I'm going to get a ticket!" He ups and runs out. I am pretty sure he's going to come back else not only did I have an awful time I was going to be stuck paying for it too.

A few minutes later my date returns even more annoyed than before. This time he sits across from me and chides me that my girlfriend has overstayed her welcome, a fact I am well aware of. However, he did not have to opt to engage in her conversation to the point of ignoring me. I am not thinking much of anything other than to say, "I am sorry you have had a rotten time". To which he replies, "I have so if you don't mind I will settle the bill and be going". "Fine", I say, what else is there to say?

Later that eve I have the most unpleasant screaming fit on the phone with Rita who can only focus on how my date is not her type as if I am the one who should have my head examined. She actually expected me to thank her for protecting me from such peril. Conversation was another exercise in frustration.

Back to my quite life, I turn on my emails and send my date a thank you note, as good upbringing has taught me to do. I get a reply not to be snide. So much for that date, so one would think.

Many months later at another lunch date with the man I just started dating I make what turned out to be another enormous mistake. I see Rita across the street. I ask my date if he'd mind if I ask her to join us and run down the street like an idiot to fetch her (I should have thought that one over twice because on our second date when he opted to join me and my lady friends at an Oscar party, Rita who is normally the most rowdy could not refrain from sushing me, and just me). I must be out to lunch sometimes. For it hadn't dawned on me yet that while i had taken offense to some of her rude behaviors that she would be different and completely unbearable in the presence of men. After all it had been just one time, so far; the shushing I ignored as did my date. Well, it didn't take me more than 5 interrupted sentences when she spoke over me and only to my date before I exploded. My hissy fit, which lasted all of 10 seconds, touched a cord despite my public service announcement it would all blow over in an instant in an attempt to instruct my date to pay no mind. Later I tried to explain the context. It did not matter. The damage was done. Bing, Rita won round 2. Or so she thought. "Don't bite the hand which feeds you" I had warned her. Did I really expect her to acknowledge all the nice things I had been doing for her? Better still I came to my senses and decided I don't need those kinds of friends. So much for that man, so much for Rita. Bye Bye to both.

I got a call the other day from the first fiasco date. He apologized and asked for another chance to become acquainted sans any other escorts. I firmly agree. The lesson learned is the same for both women and men; it's called the test of time. Trust is earned over time.